Oldest Trick In The Book
by nek0-sama
Summary: Boredom is poison to a writer's mind. First Evo fic. The Brotherhood house is empty, and Pietro is up to his usual, obnoxious antics. It seems that only Lance has the ability to shut him up...


**A/N: **This is PURE CRAP!! Before you bother reading ahead, know that I was bored out of my mind when I wrote this. 

Warnings: Slash, Lance/Pietro. Need I say more?

Oldest Trick In The Book

"Lance! Hey Lance! Laaaance!"

"Shut it, Pietro!" Lance snapped. He stood there, gritting his teeth in irritation, hands pressed to his throbbing temples as he _tried_ to block out my attempts to get his attention. Geez. What's his problem? Kitty crawl up his butt and get stuck there? I don't even know what the hell he sees in that girl. She's eye candy, sure, but as for intelligence, I bet Fred and Todd have her beat.

The house was empty, and I was trying to entertain myself. Pretty much the same way Lance was trying to get me to shut up. _Trying. _But he was not gonna get _any_where talking to _me _like that! Ohh no! And I stopped my dashing about abruptly to inform him of this. "Heeey Lance." I drew out, smirking as I stepped in close to him. "There's no way in _hell_ you're gonna get me to shut up like that."

Lance scowled. "Pietro, you're seriously annoying me. Can't you see I've got a headache?"

Ha! Lance was so cute when he acted all bitchy. Of course, I myself am the _master _of bitching. Nobody can out-bitch Pietro Maximoff. And since I was already annoying him, I decided to make matters worse for him. "Aww." I mocked. "Does poor wittle Lance have a teeny-weeny headache that's making him act like a big, gwumpy baby?" I stuck out my lower lip a bit, just to emphasize the poutiness.

Lance stared at me. His gaze was level, but I know him well enough so it was easy to tell that I had him royally pissed off and warring with himself on whether or not he should give into that stupid, stubborn impulse to try and strike me down, which, as I knew he knew could only make matters worse, or, do nothing about it, and try to soothe his throbbing skull.

And since Lance is the hothead presumably in chief at the Brotherhood house, I was already anticipating what he was gonna do next.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He growled.

His reaction alone set me off. Zipping a good distance away at lightning speed, I nearly doubled over with laughter at the look of mingled irritation and disgust on his face. When it comes to pissing people off, I so rule!

Letting out another growl of frustration and tossing a half-hearted glare my way, Lance retorted, "Think that's funny, do you?!"

I gave him a peculiar look, meeting his brown eyes with my sapphire blue. "Uh, yeah! _Duh!_"

He groaned, knowing that resisting me is absolutely futile. Holding his head in agony, he moaned, "Will you just shut up?!"

Ha, this was way too funny, Lance on his knees, practically _begging _me to silence myself. Betcha his pretty Kitty wouldn't think so highly of him if she saw him like that. Still, at the same time, it made me feel pretty hot too, watching someone powerful like Lance reduced to petty groveling for the sake of the health of his cranium and sanity by someone like me. I didn't even know I _had _that kind of power, and it made me feel strangely enough, like _father. _Magneto. Shaking my head, I forced those thoughts out. "He's no father to me. And I sure as hell am no son to him."

"What are you goin' on about now?" Lance peered out at me from between his fingers, his annoyance still there, but mostly replaced by weariness.

I didn't even realize I had been talking out loud. "You must be crazy, Lance." I replied. "I didn't say anything."

He sighed heavily. "Pietro, if you don't shut up, I'm gonna have to make you myself."

Before he could blink, I was in front of him. That signature smirk of mine was plastered on my face. Leaning into him, curiosity fueled me, and I goaded him on. "_Really, _Lance? How are you gonna do that, huh?" _Just a little more. _I told myself. _That's all it'll take. _

And sure enough, I got what I bargained for. In an instant, Lance's lips were pressed to mine, fist closed around my burgundy sweater. Not at all fazed, I slipped him tongue, hearing with satisfaction a grunt pass from his mouth. He crushed my slender from against his sturdy one, the hot moistness growing more intense.

And in another instant, just like that, it was over. The heat of our joined mouths had made the journey down, right to my pants. I smirked once again, although this time, it was intended to be more of a smile, and Lance could see it too. "Oldest trick in the book."

"Yeah, keep it down." Lance muttered.

Happily subdued, I sat beside him on the ratty old couch, and for once, I kept my motor mouth shut, just like Lance knew I would.


End file.
